Understanding co-dependency

My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.

My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.

Your struggles affect my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain.

My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.

My mental attention is focused on protecting you.

My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to “do it my way.”

My self esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.

My self esteem is bolstered by recieving your pain.

My own hobbies and interests are put aside. My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.

Your clothing and personal appearance is dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.

Your behavior is dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.

I am not aware of how I feel, I am aware of how you feel. I am not aware of what I want, I ask what you want. If I am not aware, I assume.

The dreams I have for my future are linked to you.

My fear of rejection determines what I say and do.

My fear of your anger determines what I say and do.

I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.

My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.

I put my values aside in order to connect with you.

I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.

The basis of co-dependency is the overwhelming need for approval, the overwhelming need to take care of others, and the desire to control another’s thoughts, feelings, and actions.